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Kinktober 2019 – How, what, why?

I’ve decided to do Kinktober again this year. I really enjoyed it last year (it actually was the motivation to start this blog in the first place!) and hope it will get me writing again after a few months of absolutely no new words coming out of my fingertips.

What is this Kinktober thing, you ask? I’ve written a brief history of Kinktober last year that should explain things.

My Kinktober prompt list

This year, there were so many Kinktober prompt lists (I stopped counting after the 30th), and yet none of them really seemed right for me. So, naturally, I added to the problem by making my own prompt list — basically my personal ‘best of’ of everyone else’s lists, plus a few interesting prompts I hadn’t gotten done last year, plus some new ideas of my own that I can imagine writing about. I wanted to make sure that (almost) all prompts could be used for both sexual and non-sexual situations (since not everyone combines sex with their BDSM), for fiction as well as posts about real-life kink, and for people/creatures of all genders and orientations. This is the end result (typed out below for those using screen readers):

Kinktober 2019 prompt list with 36 prompts in a 'bingo' layout. Prompts are listed in the post below.

How to use the Kinktober prompt list

Instead of a numbered list with one prompt (or several) for each October day, my list has a ‘bingo’ format. This has saved me the stress of picking an order ahead of time I then might not want to stick to, and it has provided some room for a few extra kinks (because I like having a choice). If you want to use this list for your own Kinktober creations, do whatever you want with it: Pick the 31 (or 13 or 3) prompts you like best and fill them in any order you like. Play bingo and create something for every prompt in a certain row, column, or diagonal. Print out the list and cut it into squares, then draw your prompts from a hat. Use two six-sided dice and let them choose the row and column to find the next prompt. Do them alphabetically. Mix and match them. Or, to borrow @cuffedCatling’s ideas: Start somewhere and then do knight’s moves to the next prompt. Or do the ones in blue first. Or throw darts at a print-out. Or let the cat walk across to choose your prompts.

As a writer myself, I created the list thinking it would be used as writing prompts. But it can of course also inspire drawings/paintings, photography, audio recordings, or even actual BDSM scenes with one or more consenting partner(s). You absolutely don’t need to be ‘good’ at whatever medium you choose (although you’ll probably get better automatically if you keep at it). You can be as filthy as you like or as safe-for-work as you can. You can explain things, fantasize about things, tells stories from your own life, or create any other kink-related things you wish existed already.

You can publish your creations wherever you like (#kinktober and #kinktober2019 seem to be the Twitter hashtags of choice), or you can keep them to yourself, or you can share them with a select few people in private. Or you can just read everyone else’s pieces/look at their visual art and perhaps leave a like and/or comment, which is also a great way to participate in Kinktober. (If you want to read other people’s Kinktober writings in German, this collective blog might be a good place to start, especially if you’re looking for LGBTQIA+ stuff.)

And if you don’t have any time in October 2019 to do any of this, you can of course also use whichever prompts you like at any other time (I wrote a few catch-up posts last year myself).

In short: There are no official Kinktober rules — just the ones you make for yourself.

If you’re using my prompt list in any way, I’d love to see what you did with it (you can post a link in the comments, tag or DM me on Twitter, link this blog on your own and send me a pingback, or write me a message through my contact form here). You don’t have to tell me, though.

My Kinktober ‘rules’ for myself

As for my own rules, I haven’t made any yet besides “I want to participate in Kinktober in some way.” I want to use this as an opportunity to turn some existing drafts into finished posts, and I want to write some entirely new things. I’ll try to write something every day, but I can’t promise I’ll also finish a blog post every day. My pieces — like the rest of my blog — are likely going to be a mix of personal, explain-y, and assorted ‘other’ writing. I may branch out and try my hand at some fiction; I may post a Twitter thread instead of a blog post on some days; I may write more kinky haikus; or I may just tweet a kinky picture I found to fill a prompt. Realistically speaking, if I manage to post ten different things on this blog, I’m going to be very happy with myself. Because I’ve learned last year that Kinktober stops being fun when I start feeling stressed out because I’m so very behind on posts (another reason why the bingo format is great: no pre-set number of prompts to fill!).

As promised above, the typed-out list of prompts from my bingo card image is below the cut. I may or may not link my own posts to it as the month goes on (if I don’t, there’s always the tag, though).

Continue reading Kinktober 2019 – How, what, why?

A brief history of #Kinktober (and my 2018 master post)

If you came here through a search engine, my Twitter account, or a link from someone else, you may wonder: What is all this “Kinktober” business about anyway?

Well, first there was the yearly “Inktober” ink drawing challenge (named so for the combination of “ink” and “October”), which eventually spread from Tumblr to other social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram. The offshoot “Kinktober” seems to have developed independently in several places. On Twitter, people started posting a few scattered, vaguely kinky drawings under the #kinktober hashtag in 2014, and a few more people joined in in 2015. Based on what I could find in the Twitter hashtag, it seems like different people independently thought of the same wordplay on “Inktober” roughly at the same time and then ran with the idea. By 2016, there was at least one Kinktober prompt list on Tumblr, with quite some spillover of the resulting art to Twitter. At that point, Kinktober was treated as a fandom creativity challenge for both visual art (not just in ink) and written fanfiction. This year, a bunch of people on Twitter (me included) have decided that the Kinktober prompts (and there were so many different prompt lists to choose from!) also work great for more personal writings and/or some original fiction, so the scope of the hashtag has broadened again.

And in terms of this blog, Kinktober 2018 was as good a starting point as any other, so here we are!


Here’s a round-up of all the Kinktober posts I’ve done for 2018. Further links will be added whenever I publish the blog entry for a specific prompt. I can already tell you that 2018’s Kinktober will stretch out into what I’ve decided will be Pervember so I have time to catch up on the prompts I skipped due to a lack of time on their original day.

The original prompt list I used is this one:


Since kink is all about making things work for you (and not making yourself fit into some narrow box of the “One True Way”), I have adapted the list in two ways: slight shifts of meaning and complete exchanges for a different prompt (from my own imagination or from the joker list provided). Because I’d rather write about things I like doing and/or thinking about than about things that strongly turn me off or just make me feel meh. Further changes may happen, so no guarantees that every prompt will be filled exactly as it is currently listed!

Continue reading A brief history of #Kinktober (and my 2018 master post)

Watch how it’s done: Hair pulling

Screencap of Nina Hartley grabbing and pulling Kate McKinnon's hair an nibbling on her ear. Kate McKinnon's face says she really likes it.

You know that stereotype of women fighting by scratching, biting, and pulling each other’s hair? Yeah, that’s not what we’re talking about here today. Instead, we’re talking about the kind of hair-pulling that makes you want to melt into a puddle of blissful surrender. Or, if you’re looking at it as the one who does the grabbing and pulling, the kind of hair-pulling that unmistakably asserts that you’re the one running the show right now.

So, let’s see how the experts do it so we can all give and receive as much of the good hair-pulling as possible and avoid the clueless and awful-feeling kind. The best expert advice I could find in my vast collection of bookmarks is this absolutely wonderful video of Nina Hartley explaining good hair-pulling technique and demonstrating it on a very enthusiastically consenting Kate McKinnon while Julie Goldman sits next to them and watches. And the most clothes anyone takes off are the earrings Kate McKinnon removes at Nina Hartley’s command. Which just goes to prove once again that less nudity doesn’t mean less hotness.

The video is about two years old, but I promise it hasn’t lost any of its charm and heat since it was first published and is certainly worth a re-watch if you’ve seen it before. (In fact, I may have watched the relevant bit more than once just now, and not just for research purposes.)

The hair-pulling section starts at 8:47 and lasts until 10:27, but I also recommend watching the rest of the interview (despite the bad sound quality and bad automated-only subtitles) to see and hear Nina Hartley talk to Julie Goldman about how great women are and how amazing sex with women is, for a bit of a vulva anatomy lesson (because it can’t be said often enough that while the outer vulva lips may be called labia majora (“big lips”) in Latin, they actually are smaller than the inner lips on many vulva-havers), some cunnilingus technique (suck, not flick!) and general dyke/bi bonding hilarity. Also, Kate McKinnon has the absolute best off-stage reactions throughout and up to the very end.

You’re welcome.

Housekeeping note: I took a few days off the #Kinktober writing and decided to jump back in with today’s prompt, “hair pulling.” However, I have some ideas for posts inspired by the prompts I skipped, so I’m planning to write those later and extend my Kinktober until well into November (Pervember?).

Image source: YouTube (screenshot by me)